?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sick

I am sick with some unknown illness. I object to being sick because really, I have enough tactics to keep myself from accomplishing what I set out to do without feeling lousy, too. I am sick enough that I went to Kaiser.

There, the oracle bled me and examined my entrails. I was draped in a ceremonial garment and ritual lights were flashed at me. Now, having accepted my offering, the oracle is pondering these things and will issue its findings some time today.

I know it’s more complicated than that. I understand that medicine does have some amazing and useful tools. The problem seems to be that I don’t ever have the particular problems for which the doctors have solutions. Instead, I have some other, amorphous thing that doesn’t fit into their neat categories. At that point, they are helpless, but it is bad form for the oracle to appear helpless. “Thank you for your $75 co-payment. Just wait and you’ll probably be better. We appreciate you spending your time in our uncomfortable waiting rooms.” It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.

But then, I’m looking for a simple solution. That’s always a mistake. The virus or microbe that has decided to inhabit my body, the over- or under-achieving chemical level that exists in my glands or organs or tissues is doing so in the midst of a complex system in which what I ate for lunch yesterday and the dream I had last week and the temperature in my room all play a part.

I don’t get to have control. No wonder I feel sick.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
shadowsmark
Apr. 16th, 2008 04:52 am (UTC)
I hope you feel better soon!
jan_can_too
Apr. 16th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks.
Kaiser just called me back to tell me that all my tests are normal. They say I probably have some kind of virus and it may take a MONTH for me to feel better. Argh. I'm going into full denial mode: I refuse to be sick anymore.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

jan_can_too
jan_can_too

Latest Month

June 2012
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner