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One... one... one...

I seem to be incapable of establishing rhythm for the moment. Excuse me for a moment while I look around for someone or something to blame. Damn. Just me. I was afraid of that.

Routines only work if a person can do them more than once in a row. Sometimes I don’t even manage once. Normally, I would declare this to be a complete failure of character and something for which I should be flogged. I can’t even get up the gumption for self-flagellation, so clearly something is up.

It may be the result of trying something completely new. I have been a slave to my polished-mary-janes-rule-abiding-list-making superego for so long that I think my creativity is broken. I have given up the list. I choose one thing that I want to accomplish each day and no matter how small it is, the day counts as a success if I do it. That doesn’t mean that I do just one thing a day, but that I’m not allowed to beat myself up for not doing more than one thing.

A lot of days, however, I’ve found myself napping. I don’t feel bad about this. It means that I really am that tired. It’s no wonder I can’t follow my passion; I can’t even find it until I catch up on my sleep.

Today’s one thing was to walk with Cricket and my friends. I did that. I hope it feeds me so that I get wherever it is I’m trying to go.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
shadowsmark
Dec. 1st, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
I have certainly used the "today is a success if I get this one thing done" rule a lot.

Will writing up your book list become one of those things? I definitely look forward to that :).

jan_can_too
Dec. 1st, 2010 07:15 pm (UTC)
I'll write up my list as soon as T. gets out for Christmas break, the traditional moment of reckoning. (I think I'm going to win this time, but I'll have to wait and see...).

Hugs to you!!!!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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