jan_can_too (jan_can_too) wrote,

The delta as symbol for change was not, apparently, all I learned in chemistry

I am humbled, often, by the vagaries of my personal chemistry set, otherwise known as my body. I don’t particularly like the idea that my experience is a result of chemical reactions, that my consciousness comes down mostly to catalysts, solutions, and that other word for the stuff that clumps together that I’m sure I will remember soon—precipitates!—that’s it! However, I cannot ignore the evidence entirely.

Right now I have no energy. None. I was reading just now and that seemed like too much effort. Why? Massive reduction in sugar and caffeine. Pop some of that stuff in me and watch the exothermic reactions begin.

In conjunction with my semi-annual lube and filter change, my gynecologist had me take some blood tests. The chemistry there is disturbingly normal. Not that I want to be abnormal, just that I had hoped the tiredness came from something simple like an iron deficiency. Which means that the chemistry to blame in this case is in my head. Hi, antidepressants! I’m talking to you and your sleepy side effects. Hi, depression! You, too! I know you’re contributing to the problem.

Let’s just ignore hormones for the moment. They get too much press already.

However, I’m not going to take it. I can play chemistry right back at the chemistry set. I put in some exercise. I added vitamins. I went outside in the sun. I remembered to turn out the light to keep the melatonin doing its thing before becoming totally unconscious last night.

I just wish the reaction would speed up more.

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