jan_can_too (jan_can_too) wrote,

What happened to the dark stranger I was promised?

So apparently I am going to have some life changes. It was news to me, so I figured I should share. My fortune from yesterday’s cookie says: “You and your wife will be happy in your life together.”

Who knew? I eyed Brent suspiciously, in case he happened to be, secretly, a woman. That would be the simplest solution, requiring just an adjustment of mind on my part. But no, he’s still a man with no intention of changing that.

Which means, of course, that my wife is out there somewhere, gallivanting around without my knowledge or consent. How exactly we are to be happy in our life together when she has not bothered to meet me is unclear. She didn’t even invite me to our wedding! I can’t believe I married such an inconsiderate person. No card on my birthday, no gift at Christmas, no kiss goodnight! My goodness!

But then, maybe we aren’t married yet. Maybe she is proposing to me via this cookie. That would make her a mysterious romantic, which is much better than a rude and thoughtless boor. Although perhaps a little creepy, in that she seems to have proposed before our first date. I don’t like the idea of being stalked.

How is it that my horoscope said nothing about her? My palmist mentioned no such abrupt shift in my marriage line. My tarot reading was all about the usual death and destruction stuff. I mean, how is a person supposed to cope when the signs give such divergent messages?

Unless the fortune was just an alien plot to convince me of fortune-cookie gender bias and my wife was an unwitting victim of their conspiracy. That’s probably it.

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