A while ago I bought a Soundwagon. I have records, but no turntable and it seemed like a fun way to hear my non-digital music again. Then I heard that it could actually wreck records in playing them, so it sat on my shelf for a good long time.

Then I was talking to Rick, my ex, who gave me the opportunity to use a piece of advice from the Reduced Shakespeare Company: “Kids, don’t try this at home; go over to a friend’s house.” If Rick has anything, it is records. I did not have to sacrifice any of my cheesy records to test my gizmo, not even the Grease soundtrack or my Barry Manilow record I got as a gift for my tenth birthday (please, laugh at me; I do, too, but I bet you are also humming "Summer Nights" or "Copacabana").

I took a video with my phone, but I have tried three times to upload it and I'm too dumb to figure it out even with directions, so you will just have to imagine. I even tried to make it a jpg to upload it as a photo. So picture a cute little gray VW bus circling around a record. (Smart people, can you explain how I should have done this?)

The sound quality was awful, truly, and I am a person who really has no illusion of being an audiophile, but it was fun to watch the little VW circle around on the table.