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Miracles

One of my more cherished illusions is that change is possible. That, somehow, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, one of these days I will Figure It All Out, Find The Perfect System, and Do Things Right At Last.

You never know. Miracles happen.

While I’m waiting for the miracle, I come up with plans to improve myself. I will be smarter if I do a puzzle every day, like this one. I will be a better writer if I set myself exercises. If I find exercise I actually enjoy, like ballet, I’ll do it regularly and I’ll lose weight. I will be a better parent if I… well, I haven’t got a plan for that one.

In Just Fifteen Minutes a Day, I can try to have a clean house or a better body or more nutritious food or more organized closets. I can read to my kid, fold the laundry, empty the trash cans, read up on current events.

If I just get up half an hour earlier, I can fit in a full workout, or more journal pages, or time to pray, or a little yoga, or some bathroom scrubbing. I could be well-dressed. I could have groomed eyebrows. My pots could shine. My plants could survive.

Then I remember that I already get up most days at 4:30. There is only so much time. I begin to doubt that anything will ever happen, that the single pages will ever make a novel, or the plants ever bloom. I wonder why I bothered to get up at all.

And then, the miracle sneaks up on me. Brent comes home with a flower for me, a bit of color to put on my desk. The orchid has its mouth wide open, as if it were singing for the pure joy of the day.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
joyliveshere
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
I have absolutely nothing supportive to say to you, because you are evil -- however inadvertently, you introduced me to a new way to waste my time with those enticing set puzzles. ::sulks::

Allright, now I feel guilty. Change is possible, but not all that necessary because, like Mary Poppins, you are practically perfect. Just ask Brent if you don't believe me.
mtnvwpilot
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Yup, practically perfect in every way! I keep telling her that, but I think the effect is diluted by repetition.


-B
stefaroos
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
The only thing you must do is become extremely proficient in "SET". It is the best game ever.
It will make you happy.
It will cook your dinner.
It will raise your children.

Well - no, not true. But I LOVE SET! Get a deck of SET cards and practice in real time...that way when we get together and play you will have a better chance of me not just outright kicking your ass. ;-)
jan_can_too
May. 3rd, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
I'd love to get together and play. For whatever reason, my kids never took to Set and so, while I have the game, I've never really played much! And, just so you know, them's fightin' words! Today's puzzle took 43 seconds...

;) js
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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