December 30th, 2008

The sound of one page flapping

Since it is technically a vacation week, I picked up an Oprah magazine. In the past, I’ve always found it to be better than the usual women’s crap that has been shown to induce depression. In general, it is still better written than most similar magazines, although much of the content makes no sense to me. (How can you say you are shopping frugally and spend $98 on a pair of pants? They don’t KNOW from cheapskate.)

What I liked best was the humor column. Oh, wait. It was supposed to be the deep, life-changing column. I know absolutely nothing about Eckhart Tolle, except that his books are everywhere and he apparently feels the need to button the top button on his shirts. But his prose! Such pseudo-Zen ephemera! I offer you this: “Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.” That’s so deep I need a ladder to climb back out of the paragraph.

My favorite partial sentence in the article, however, was, “See if you can catch the voice in your head…” Maybe it’s just the way my crazy wiring works, but I imagined myself running around with a butterfly net, while the voice in my head cavorted around the kitchen, sticking out its tongue at me and throwing flour. Syd says I’m not allowed to read anymore after I interrupted his peaceful perusal of Jane Eyre with this observation.

That, unfortunately, would get in the way of my goodness. And Eckhart says, “You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.”

Here, Goodness, Goodness! Here, Goodness! Time for a walk! I have cookies!