March 24th, 2009


I am cranky today, which makes me cranky. I don’t like to be cranky. I don’t like to run out of patience with the normal things that happen. I don’t like to be confronted with the fact that I am not cheerful when I get awakened on the couch by giant dog kisses. I am a petty person, annoyed by dishwashers, headaches, body hair, dampness, and bandages. I do not exhibit good grace under the most minimal of pressures.

And today I’m supposed to read about meditative practice and networks. Not at the same time. But it’s two things I’m not good at, right there, on my list of things to do today. It’s for my own good, I know. Unfortunately, it seems to taste of peas, which are also good for me, if yucky.

On the other hand, I’m good at whining. As just exhibited. So at least I started with the easy project. Sigh.

Lent Day 24

So here's what I get for saying I was done with circulation: Carlos Castaneda and heart stuff. In case it is hard to read my handwriting (although it is much admired by little old men in bookstores...), the words say, "Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use." It's a quote from Don Juan from some Carlos Castaneda book or other. I've only read one. It may even be in the one I've read for all I know. But there is no citation in the book I was actually reading this morning, where it was quoted. I thought the words demanded a kind of path with a heart in it, so I made one of those branching things I like to draw with a heart at the center. Symbolically, it might have made more sense if I had made the whole shape of the path a heart, but I didn't. And this project is about process and not results. Which is a good thing, because I'm not exactly having a stellar day for results.