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Existential Waffles

In a twist on my usual insomnia, last night I couldn’t fall asleep until 2, instead of waking up then. I put my time to use in reading; Brent loaned me a book called What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson. It is a collection of stories about how people address this big question in life, beginning with a man who has an actual letter from the Dalai Lama telling him the purpose of his life and branching out from there into people with many clues, a few clues, or none at all.

I wish the Dalai Lama would write to me. Or, as I usually phrase it, God could send a lightning bolt or something.

I’m not sure it is good for me to read this book. I am susceptible to existential questions the way some people carry strep germs; any time I get run down, out come all the doubts to infect me.

Lacking a lightning bolt, I have had to try other things. Books. There are lots and many of them are comforting and inspiring. For a while I let my own superstitious nature run rampant, examining the entrails of my dreams and endowing everyday events with predictive power and considering the Jungian archetypes hidden in the tarot. I pray.

This morning I got up and took Cricket for a walk. She bounded through the sprinklers along the sidewalk. When we circled back for home, the sun blazed in my face. Then Brent and I went to breakfast to satisfy his days-old craving for waffles.

The woman who served us took care of everything we needed with grace and kindness. She did not gush or pretend to a relationship we didn’t have. She brought us our food with a smile, checked on us, and left us alone. I have no idea how she feels about her job, but if her performance is any indication, she has found her right work. That fed me more than the waffle.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
joyliveshere
Jun. 18th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC)
I think that the meaning of life, like love, is one of those things that you can't find if you are desperately looking for. You have to go about your business, keeping your eyes and mind open to it but not chase after it, and one day you will realize you've found it. And, you're right, it often comes with the waffle.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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