My friend asked me if I am happier now. She saw me a lot Before and During, but due to various life changes for both of us, a lot less in the After. I think what she was actually asking was: Was it worth it, that whole thing where your life fell into a million pieces and your soul writhed around and you spent a lot of time staring at walls because that was about all you could manage safely?
There is an e e cummings poem that thanks God for a lot of things, ending with the words, “for everything that is natural, that is infinite, that is yes! yes! yes! yes!” (Apologies in advance for whatever errors there are in that transcription from the Janet’s Abridged and Remembered Anthology… too lazy to go look it up.). I mean that “yes” up there in the paragraph all by itself in that way.
No apologies for what is to follow, because I have no shame. I am blessed. I have wonderful children, an ideal husband, a charmed life. I got here the long way, through my own personal brand of stupidity and it is entirely to the credit of a kind providence that I get to be here at all.
Life is good.