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Pocketful of Something

Under normal circumstances, I prefer to take responsibility for the things that happen to me. However, today I would like to blame the manufacturers of women’s pants. Or maybe cultural pressure. Or my mother. Something like that.

Here’s what happened: I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. (For those of you of more curiosity than sense, I will add that there was nothing in the bowl but water until I added the cell phone.) This is the second time I’ve had this problem and it comes from the inadequate pockets on my pants.

Most of the time I wear jeans. I like jeans. But yesterday my jeans got covered in wood chips from the playground and macaroni and cheese. I changed my clothes to go to my writers’ group and then to a barbecue where I would meet people who don’t know that I’m a slob. I put on girl pants.

Readers of David Sedaris may recall his adventure in girl pants. His involved a zipper up the back and a urinal. My girl pants zip up the side. As a result, they do not have front pockets. Because girls, on the whole, prefer not to look bulky (as Anne Lamott would say), there are few pockets of any kind on girl clothes. My pants do have two back pockets. They were both sewn shut when I bought the pants, but I ripped the stitching out of the right cheek pocket so I could at least stick a pen and some cash in there.

I needed to keep my cell phone with my body in case of a toddler emergency, since I had the pleasure of Mookie’s company all day. I shoved the phone into this completely inadequate and shallow pocket. When nature called, the pocket failed, ejecting its contents in a very un-pocket-like manner.

The phone still makes incomprehensible noises. I can’t see anything on its stubbornly blank screen. It is depressing.

So. Next time I buy pants, I need to ignore the mirror and the voice of my mom in my head reminding me that I’m not as skinny as I used to be. I need to remember that I’d rather be useful than cute (not that I’d mind being cute, too, but priorities, priorities!).

And if I end up wearing jeans all the time, it won’t be my fault.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 19th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
I used to use back pockets, and would keep letters to go out in them. One was taken from my back pocket on the subway when I was 15. I am sure the creep who took it enjoyed reading a letter from one teenaged girl to another talking about a Star Trek convention. The other time, I wound up with my mail in a public toilet that was unflushable. I never use back pockets unless they have button flaps.

As for my phone, I laundered two in 4 months. So, I feel your pain.
Aug. 20th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
But maybe the creep learned something useful about Star Trek and it changed his life. OK, probably not.

Button flaps are good, but it's pocket depth I'm after. Then again, my butt is bigger than yours and tends to help things stay in the pockets if there is enough pocket to stay in at all.

Aug. 19th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
That girl pants exist shows that sexism is alive and well. (The politics of clothing was a very interesting unit in my Non-Verbal Communication class in the early 80s.)
Aug. 19th, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
I think that girl pants exist because women have narrower waistlines than men and they need to be cut for that shape. You can find any configuration of women's pants imagineable, especially with the internet. I do think that with low-end clothing, women's clothing is crappier than men's. However, its easy to strike back. I had an Eisenhower jacket that I wanted relined. For an extra 5 bucks, they tailor added inside pockets, just like men's jackets have.
Aug. 20th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Well, yeah...
But men don't, for the most part, go around worrying about how they look in their pants. If they're comfy and practical, men will wear them. Women are sucked in by the cute factor and end up with such horrible things as dresses that button up the back.

That said, my body doesn't fit in boy pants in any useful way. I want pants that fit my body (in which my waist and my hips are not in the same place) AND have useful features like pockets.
Aug. 19th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. I prefer jeans as well. And I have too many pairs of pants with no pockets at all. I have considered doing the Bluetooth borg headset, just to avoid this issue. That way the phone can be in the bag with the keys, and I don't need pockets.
Aug. 20th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
Hooray for jeans
I now have a borg ear thingie due to the law about cell phone use while driving (although I won't be able to use it until the replacement cell phone arrives) and I'm comfortable looking that nerdy if I need to, even if my kid makes fun of me, but it doesn't work as well as I want it to. I find myself yelling a lot.

And I often clip my keys to the belt loop of my jeans rather than dig around in my purse for them.
Aug. 20th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
Blame me, since you were watching my daughter at the time. I have a way w/ cell phone, and other small electronics -- I inadvertantly kill them all the time. I've drowned two cell phones in the past year -- one at the beach, one in the sink. Apparently my bad electronikarma has permeated to my offspring.
Aug. 20th, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC)
If it had been the first time this happened to me, I might suspect your karma to be contagious, but since it was the second time, I actually have to be my own scapegoat. Sigh.

Your daughter is one cute muffin, I must say. It was a FUN day. I'd email you the pictures I took, but they, um, drowned, along with the phone.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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