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V Day

Valentine’s Day is coming. I hate Valentine’s Day. There are the obvious corporate reasons: why should I support the flower industry just because I love someone? If industry wants me to do it, it’s probably about their best interest rather than mine. (My inner hippie is kind of a cynical curmudgeon…)

Then there is the philosophical question. Shouldn’t I love the people I love every day? Shouldn’t I make a habit of appreciating them all the time?

Not to mention the gloating aspect of the holiday: the Haves out there cuddling publicly and the Have Nots scarfing chocolate, posting unwise Craigslist ads, or stubbornly insisting they Don’t Care.

Sure, my antipathy is historical. I was in high school once. Some genius decided to raise money for some Good Cause Club by selling flowers that kids could send to each other. Nothing like the public humiliation of not receiving flowers. Nothing like the private humiliation of receiving flowers from friends but none from that particular person who makes the world seem like the set of a musical. Not to mention the stress of deciding whether to send a flower to that guy and how to word the card so as to convey undying love without opening up the option of further humiliation.


Remaining stuck forever in the scars of high school is probably not a good idea. It isn’t ever a bad idea to tell dear people that they are loved and cherished and appreciated. So for the last many years I have made my own valentines for the kids and more recently for Brent. Brent actually reads my blog, so I’m not going to post his (besides, the inside is kind of mushy…), but here’s the outside of what I made for the kids. Inside, I put silly verses.

They are, in fact, loved. I tell them every day, but I’ll make a special effort just for the heck of it on Valentine’s Day.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 4th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)
Yes, it's repulsive
I have gone back and forth about it, but ultimately decided that it was better to choose to show love than choose not to show love. I support the card industry to the point that I buy my mom a glittery and flower-encrusted card because that is how she feels loved. Everyone else gets loved the way I'd prefer to love them, with homemade stuff and food.
Feb. 4th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
I usually hate Hallmark holidays, but I have trouble arguing with anything that involves a lot of chocolate.

I have a friend who, back when he was single, had an anti-Valentine's Day party on February 14. Only his single friends were invited, and they ate broken heart-shaped cookies and didn't listen to love songs.
Feb. 6th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
And when he got a partner, those friends came by on Feb. 14 and egged his house?
Feb. 6th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
Hee hee...
I hope not. I hope that he still had the party.
Feb. 5th, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
I'm all for the support of the fine chocolate industry. Flowers and cards, not so much.

I'd like to think that for every story where Valentine's Day cemented that feeling of isolation, there's another one where someone got past the shyness, or found the right words, or learned they were special to someone, etc. Nah, didn't happen to me either, but it's still a nice thought.
Feb. 6th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
We can hope...
Chocolate is yummy, of course, but it's yummy all year round. No need to wait for the marketing powers to tell us to give some to people we love...

And I love your optimism and will strive to share it.
Feb. 6th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
High school ought to be a time when you're learning some of the etiquette around those new experiences, love and heartbreak. Part of that etiquette is not gloating about what you've got that others want. Kind of like what you were supposed to learn in 5th grade about having a Cabbage Patch doll--but then, I remember a camp holding "Cabbage Patch Doll Day" too, so plenty of grownups don't know squat about teaching kids manners.

Buying flowers or chocolate for your sweetie, however, isn't flaunting it. We could all buck the Hallmarkiness of the holiday by giving our loves little homemade somethings at random times of year. Wouldn't that be lovely? And with no martyred saints attached.
Feb. 6th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
That last part...
...that's what I'm going for in life. But in the meantime, homemade cards for the loved ones on the official Day as Determined by the Marketing Powers.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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